The Journal's Owner
by ThePath
Summary: "Someone please kill me..." it said. Whose journal is it?


Kazuki jogged down the hallway of Seisou Academy, humming the playful tune of Gavotte. His amber eye lit up when he spotted something on the polished floor. He rushed towards it and examined it. It was merely a plain book, torn at the edges. Its pale blue color was in the process of being bleached to snow white. The cover had neither a name nor any indication of identity.

"Better give it to the lost and found," Kazuki mumbled, picking the book up. But just as lifted the book a few inches high, it slipped through his fingers and fell back on the floor, as if it did not want to be surrendered.

The book opened, revealing a crumpled page. On it was a considerably eligible handwriting. Kazuki's heart palpitated at the sight. The book was fine. Although it was not exactly the smart and neat crisp books you might find in the book store, no one would actually gasp at the hideous sight of it. The handwriting was fine. Although it was not the kind of handwriting that would be praised by those perfectionists, no one would actually gasp at the hideous sight of it. What stunned Kazuki and pinned his feet to the ground was the words, "help me…". There was nothing else on the page except those words which were written in a black ink and smudged by a watermark.

Kazuki looked at the book. It was a crime to snoop around other people's things. He had never done it before in his life but… Those words, those two words… They filled him with a sense of pain and loneliness so overwhelming that his chest tightened to the point where it was hard to breath. If he just surrendered the book to the lost and found, the owner would still be suffering, right? For the first time in his life, he felt the desperate urge to help someone.

"Please forgive me…" He said as his hand reached for the book.

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_30 April 2006_

I didn't know that the students at Seisou were this cruel. I knew I did something bad but did I really deserve all this? After that selection, everyone found out about the foul play I did. My friend must have rattled me out. So I… I can't trust anyone anymore.

Since that day, everyone has been looking at me with cold eyes. Not just cold, disgust even. I could feel their daggers of contempt shooting from their eyes, piercing me. I ignored it at first. What else could I do? I'm not a child. I'm mature enough to handle this.

I used to love Seisou. Learning more about music always got my spirits high. Now the thought of me liking Seisou was like… Like me thinking about me burning down my own room. No wait, I think burning down my own house would be easier than liking Seisou. Hmm… When did I hate myself this bad?

I never greeted anyone in the morning anymore… The feeling of opening the door to see everyone's eyes glaring at me with anger was a very horrid way to start the day. It happens every day now. But even if it happens every single day, those eyes, those looks, those faces. They're so scary. I'm so scared. Sliding open that door, knowing that I would have to see those faces on my "friends", is the last thing I want to do.

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_6 May 2006_

Lunch time was usually okay. I was getting used to eating all by myself. I used to eat in the garden but with all those constant stares and the tinkling sound of other people's laughter made me feel torn inside. Everyone turned against me. Even though the teachers didn't show it as much as the students, I'm sure that they think I'm a dark ugly piece of worthless thing after the things I did. Oh how I wish I could turn back time. Why was I so stupid?

I decided to eat my lunch in the corner of the abandoned music room at the end of the hallway on the third floor. Although it was dark, I felt slightly more at peace. So am I going to live in the dark from now on? I had quite a hard time eating my lunch because my hand was trembling. The sobs that were ripping my whole body filled the empty room.

When the bell rang, I reluctantly packed up and headed towards the door. But when I tried to open the door however, I found that it would not budge. Did the students lock me inside? This was the kind of door that would lock from outside so anyone could've locked it at any time. Of course there wouldn't be a stupid girl eating her lonely lunch inside right?

"Hello? Anybody out there?" I asked with a soft, wavering voice.

All I heard was silence. I was suddenly washed over with loneliness. I have never felt so alone. The only answer to my question was my own echo. That was, until I heard muffled laughter coming from the other side of the door.

That sound stabbed into my heart. In this absence of light, I could see nothing. In this absence of sound, I could hear nothing. In this absence of warmth, I could feel nothing. I was standing in the middle of nothing. I am nothing.

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_10 May 2006_

Since the locked room incident, they have been getting meaner and meaner. They pranked me by locking me up in the bathroom, in the music room, everywhere. I was even starting to get used to it. But today, they're not humans anymore. They're monsters.

After school, they locked my arms and dragged me to the roof.

"Not so tough now, are you? How dare you taint the name of Seisou music students?" the girl who was the first friend I made in Seisou demanded.

I couldn't say a word. I just kneeled there looking up at their sinister faces. Although I was on the roof, their bowed heads overshadowed me, ridding all the light that might give me broken fragments of hope.

"Still so arrogant, aren't you? Let's see how you stand against real torture!"

One of the students brought a match and a big candle. What are they going to do, I remember thinking. As a boy lit up the candle, everyone snickered in joy. The horror of it all strangled my throat, making it harder to breathe. I gasped for air, screaming in my head "what are they going to do?"

Someone suddenly grabbed my left hand and pushed it over to the candle, with its crown of dancing flame.

"No! Please! Don't" I managed to choke out. My hand! If it gets injured, I won't be able to play my instrument again. My life. Music is my life. My hand is the most precious thing to me. Don't. Please. Don't. Take. It. Away. From. Me…

"No… Don't!" Despite my anguished cries, my hand was held over the fire. I closed my eyes, refusing to watch the destruction of my own life. The sharp pain struck through my skin and seemed to spread throughout my whole body. The heat burned my skin, decaying it to flakes of dead cells. I felt as if a thousand swords were slashing my hand at the same time. The flame seemed to be eating my skin away, tearing it apart, one at a time. I started feeling my flesh exposed and in line to be devoured by the beasts. The pain was a million times more excruciating. My raw flesh was butchered by the fire and all I could do was wince in silence.

Then it rained. They left me there. I brought my burnt left hand close to my chest, holding my arm as tight as possible. "It will heal right?" I wondered as I lied on the roof, crying my eyes out.

My hand's in a bandage now. My parents didn't ask me about it. Since they knew that they their daughter was a villain, they've been trying to avoid me. Do they still love me, I wonder? I'm not even worth loving right?

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"Hihara! What're you still doing here? It's time for you to go home!" a teacher suddenly called out.

"What? Oh okay sensei! I'm sorry!" Kazuki managed to reply, his head still in disbelief of what had happened to the owner of the book.

_The owner of this book must be someone from the concours. I'm going to find out who it is. How could anyone be treated like that?_ Kazuki wondered with anger and determination.


End file.
